he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
