foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
that is very illegal...i love you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
