@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
