How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
