Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
