I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
