I'm lost and stupid without you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
