Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
