her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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