I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
