I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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