How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
