she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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