so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
