Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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