We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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