he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
