I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
