Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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