I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
