Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
