why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
