we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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