My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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