my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
this just has baby written all over it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
