so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
