Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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