Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
