dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i love accidental penises.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
