i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
