Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
