I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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