these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
