So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
