I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He kissed a someone with a penis
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
