Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
