just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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