I'm lost and stupid without you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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