This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
