I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize