My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize