It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
