think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize