Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
