We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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