Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
