You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
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