If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
