I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just had sex bonerless
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
