it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
