me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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