Sponge bath it is.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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