sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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