The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
