I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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