grandma shit on top of the toilet
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
