This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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