I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
