What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
