big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Randomize
