Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
