You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
